What It's REALLY Like To Love A Person With Abandonment Issues
My parents had a very messy divorce when I was 12 years old. Long story short, my dad cheated on my mom with a woman he worked with. He chose her over my beautiful and kind-hearted mother who had been a dedicated wife to him for almost 16 years. It suddenly all made sense. My world was shattered as our once picture-perfect family of three was completely destroyed.
This is where my idea of relationships changed. I experienced the ultimate form of rejection and deception which shattered my trust in all people, dating a girl who has abandonment issues myself. I believed that everyone who loved me would eventually abandon me because I wasn't good enough and there would be something better out there for them than me. I began weekly therapy sessions when I was 14 and continued until I was The first year with him was bliss.
I never thought love could feel so happy. We were and still are! But after a year I dating a girl who has abandonment issues freaking out. Things were getting serious and I gave him more and more power to hurt me if he decided he was bored me. I was starting arguments for no reason to get him to dislike me, and I kept up that destructive behavior for months.
It was only after we started unpacking my feelings that I realized I had serious unresolved trust issues. My psychologist told me I had a very negative love script, and much like a sad movie, my love life would end in tragedy if I kept up it up. What on earth is that psycho-babble? I let out a little snort of ridicule when I heard the term for the first time but now it makes a whole lot of sense. Your love script is the little voice in your head that tells you what love should feel like, look like and act like.
Because I'd suffered such hurt and rejection, I wanted my relationship to play out like a Hollywood movie where we were always happy, never disagreed and he did the dishes without asking. Rationally, though, I knew that was silly. He made me so happy but I just kept picking him apart. But as soon dating a girl who has abandonment issues I realized why I was doing what I was doing, I made a concerted effort to make positive mental and behavioral changes.
Here's a few things that helped me change my love script: Since I changed my mindset and did a lot of professional work on myself, I'm the happiest I've ever been. What It's REALLY Like To Love A Person With Abandonment Issues. Love January 29, More content from YourTango: Click to view 7 images. Your Super Accurate Monthly Horoscope For June Is HERE — And It's Gooood.
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